"What's this about trained dolphins in the Persian Gulf? Mmmmm, a window of opportunity maybe!"



Have you ever had the misfortune to be close to a camel? Their breath smells worse than the toilets at Jeddah Airport and they have the ability to spit copious amounts of toxic mucous for at least 3 metres. I reckon they should be deployed!

Only 9 more days to go before I'm off to Cyprus for my Spring Break! Yippee!

Mother's Day
Just before Christmas my Mum died and it's times like this that I miss her. However, I do 'kind of' have another Mum but she really is more like my friend. Her name is Gladys Irene and we get on like a house on fire. She's Phil's Mum and I have nothing but admiration for her. She visits us here in Saudi every year, swims every day, has a better social life than we do and all this whilst she is in her 80's!
When we were in Dahran we were invited to the American Consulate every Wednesday evening and of course when Dame Gladys was in residence she was invited too. She was still dancing at midnight and 'got-off' with a very nice Texan, 40 years her junior.
Happy Mother's Day Gladys Irene.


I told you she was a cracker!

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?
Do you remember those jokes? Relax I'm not going to inflict that on you, well not yet, I'm saving that for when I'm in the finals of the Most Boring Blog Page! Today I can answer that question quite simply. It takes one phone call and a guy who arrives 2 minutes later with a step ladder and a bag of bulbs. You see I ring the gate guard and he sets the whole process into motion. The young fellow takes his shoes off at the door and then goes round replacing all of the bulbs should they need it. My bin is emptied every day, there are a team of gardeners and Karim cleans and does the ironing. Our villa is vast with 3 lounges and servants quarters. There is a beautiful swimming pool just over the road and a restaurant where Ramon and Eric can whip up a meal of your choice and deliver it to your door in 30 minutes. The sun shines for most of the year and it rained for one hour in January.
You might think that we are very fortunate. I believe that fortune implies an element of luck and a better word is privileged. We are not implying that it is a bed of roses out here; far from it, particularly at the moment as I think that you can appreciate. Restrictions are unbearable and tensions are high but sometimes you forget the pressures and frustrations of living in your own home country. Perhaps the greatest hardship that we all have to bear at this time is the separation from our families and friends. Being apart is never easy and I know that if you have never been here it is easy to have preconceived ideas about what living here is like.I know that I would be rich beyond measure if I could bottle that feeling I get when I see Edward walking towards me after we have been apart for almost a year. I know I'm getting emotional but it is MY page!
Oh, alright you win.......a joke!
"How many French men does it take to change a light bulb?"
Answer: "One, and the rest of the EU revolve around him!"
Well it is topical.
Submit your jokes below and Shout Out to the World. (No war jokes please but you can all have a go at the French!)

Please Note: I can spell DRUM but it is refusing to Edit at the moment. Welcome back Jill, hope the Singapore Flu doesn't get you.

Food For Thought
I read my 'Wonderful son Ed's' Blog entry on his top ten favourite foods and the emotions that go along with each item. Firstly, I am very upset that my homemade peach and nut ice-cream, that I made some years ago and which to my knowledge is still in the garden where I threw it, did not make the list. Rumours that the RSPB have contacted me for the recipe has really ruffled my feathers and I wish to take this opportunity to announce that the subsequent owner of the property has created a really attractive Alpine feature (No, not McAlpine) with the ice-cream taking centre stage. Secondly, I would like to propose that we give consideration to creating a list of the top ten most romantic foods. To start the ball rolling, I would like to nominate the following:



Hot and Spicey flavour of course.

It's That Time of the Week Again!
After receiving complaints that I am trying to rig the competition by entering a picture of Phil last week, Thursday night saw me trying to coerce another gorgeous hunk to pose for ...(drum roll).....the Tabuk Male Pin-Up of the Week. And here he is:



Sorry girls, Cuffs has a beautiful wife and 2 gorgeous children!

Last Stop before the M25
It never fails to amaze me the way things so rapidly change in the UK when you visit only once a year. Now as soon as I pick a car up at Heathrow I head out on the M25 and then go north. On the M6 I normally stop at a Rest Area for a coffee and a pee. I think One Stop is very aptly named because the array of items that you can buy is incredible. Coffee, food, flowers, stamps, gifts, clothes, magazines, videos, CD's, DVD's, books; the list goes on. Whoops forgot the petrol, the oil and the sandwich to go for those in a hurry.
Now I don't want you all to feel sorry for me because you think we lack such facilities here in the Middle East. Of course we have stopping places on the roads, to rest, to fill up with petrol, to buy snacks and a mango juice. It's just that they are different, don't you think?

Get off Your High Horse
Back to nonsense and trivia; you won't be surprised that I'm entering the most Boring Blog Page competition. Yes there is one and when you think about this it surely is a very cunning plan to get people to visit your page! AND I'm all for this, as my regular readers will concur. However, how do I get the balance right because I don't want to be a 'one hit wonder'? Click on to see why it's considered boring and then grab them with my wit and intellect, my inspirational writing ..............
Oh, alright I suppose winning the most Boring Page will have to do.
(Kind comments only please or No Comments at all. You see there I go again, even here by saying No, I'm really trying to illicit more Shouts)

Trying to make sense of all this madness!
I try not to use my Blog Page as some sort of 21st century soap box but today I have been amazed by incidents around the globe. South Korea, Australia, Pakistan have all seen mass demonstrations in the last 24 hours, mostly by young people, and the scenes have been very violent. However, a very peaceful protest was made in South Korea which amused me. A young man with a George Bush mask on, somehow managed to get to the top of the M at McDonalds, turn the banner upside down so that the M became a W and then he painted AR at the end. He was eventually arrested without any violence and he went with a wave and a smile. Now it would seem to me that if you are an exponent of peace then your protest should be done peacefully. If a similar protest is made outside our villa I'll let you all know.

An Arabian Night
I arrived in Saudi Arabia some 6 years ago in the month of August and late at night. The temperature at 11.00 o'clock at night was 100 degrees F. plus and our very small apartment in Dahran was a welcome haven after a very hot taxi ride from the airport. I couldn't sleep that night and so got up in the middle of the night to look out through the window. What I saw took my breath away. There was a midnight blue sky and palm trees silhouetted against a crescent moon. It was an Arabian night and I was enthralled.
The next day was a huge jump back to reality, what I couldn't see the night before was the litter and total disregard for the environment that the Saudi's have. However, I loved living in Dahran and very reluctantly left 3 years ago when both Phil and I were relocated by the company up to Tabuk; me to work in the new school and Phil to establish the LRC.
Again we arrived at night and this time everything was almost in total darkness and so it was not until the next day that I could see where we had been moved to. This time I was devastated! The whole of the town had a neglected appearance, fountains, parks and buildings left to crumble and decay. It was and still is, not uncommon for dead animals to litter the streets. Packs of wild dogs roam the streets late at night and during the day children play bare footed in the piles of rubbish that collect in the gutters. There were only 2 supermarkets and these were very badly stocked; no cheese, no Flora, no bread, only white toilet rolls just to mention a few items. Three years on and things have greatly improved. Prosperity has arrived to this small town in the north of the Kingdom and it has slowly but surely become our home for a good part of the year. Most of the people are friendly and the surrounding scenery very stunning.
The one thing that Tabuk has that makes this place stand out above the rest of the towns I have visited throughout the world are the incredible traffic round-abouts. Honestly, they are wonderful and each attempts to depict some aspect of life here. Take a look and tell me what you think:

It's a BUMMER when you aint got a HUMMER!
I love to drive. For many years I have owned my own car and enjoyed driving here and there; it is a form of freedom. In Saudi I am not allowed to drive and it is more than a little frustrating! Now I know that I can drive better than 90% of the male drivers in Tabuk. I have taken an additional test so that I can drive a small bus to transport children!
When I get to Cyprus I get my car out of bond and I'm away. My little BMW zips here and there and I am happy.
Now off-road driving in the desert is hard and scary (only in Jordan of course!) I have now done this a few times in the wagon and it is white knuckle time. Normally you travel in a convoy and you have to GO or be left behind and then you are up to the axle in sand. It's fantastic, the adrenalin kicks in and your heart pounds; stuff the M6 and M25, this is driving! AND what is at the end of all this? Take a look at what we Brits call the Grand Canyon. It is stunning!



Now if I had a Hummer!

Gluing and Sticking
The first thing Phil says to me when he gets home is:
"So what's been happening today? Have you been gluing and sticking?"
This irritates me, to put it mildly. He doesn't seem to understand that I am at the cutting edge of high intellect all day, five days a week. My brain has to flit from the poems of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, to Napier's Rod, to the ancient civilizations of the Indus Valley and then on to "Please, Mrs Scates, he's just called me smelly!"
However, I declare that today we have been gluing and sticking and all for a wonderful cause. Yes, 'It's Mothers Day' this weekend and if a certain Son reads this I hope he gets the glue out; oh, and the glitter, I love glitter, lots of glitter.

It's Those Dreaded Red Backs Again
We seem to have spiders all over the place. This is what the children in my class did for part of last week. We researched, we drew, we painted, we marbled, we stitched and we stuck on those red bobbles. So for all of you who wonder what I do during a working day, here is another aspect of my life.



AND here are the lovely paintings.

'Thank you God'
When my nephew Jason was about 4 he always insisted on saying his prayers before going to bed and here is one we all remember:
"Thank you God for my Mummy and Daddy, my brother Ste and all my family. Thank you for my friends but most of all thank you for my pets........
....but God, where are they?"
This silly little anecdote came into my thoughts today. Now my prayer would end...thank you God for my friends but....... where are they? Hang on a moment I don't want you thinking that I am lamenting the fact that I haven't got any friends! Quite the opposite really but you see they are scattered around the globe.
Have you ever analysed what makes a certain person your 'friend' and what constitutes that special ingredient that makes it right? I don't think for one minute, that I need to spell this out because that is not my intention tonight. What is at the forefront of my mind is that I know for sure that all of my friends would get on really well together if only it were possible for them to meet. So if I could wave my magic wand tonight, I would want all of my friends:
Elizabeth in England
Liz, on her way from Sidney to Dubai and then back here today
Jill in Singapore (I know, I want to be home too)
Nicole in Australia (So good to hear from you today....miss you!)
Carol in Spain
Jenny in Cyprus
Tina in Cyprus
Mardie in Cyprus
Gerry (Villa 36 Olaya, who would like to be somewhere else other than here)
.................................... to read this and SHOUT OUT

This is what all of you girls have been waiting for: The Tabuk Male Pin-Up of the week.



Obviously a professional.

Send Me a Canary.....48 hours will soon be UP!

You may have seen reference on Ed's Page (December) to the Looky Likey Competition. Indulge me whilst I give you a little background information.It began 2 years ago when 'Wonderful Son Edward' was staying with us in Paphos. Well, we were very fond of going to the Pelican on the harbour front for a meal and it was on one such occasion that I spotted Michelle Collins (AKA Cindy Beale / Eastenders fame and Sunburn) having a meal on the table behind us. Of course both my fellow diners poured scorn, indeed even ridicule, on this and I was the object of many sniggers, guffaws and nudging for the rest of the week. (Who am I kidding they still refer to it!) However, what resulted was a brilliant game called THE LOOKY LIKEY COMPETITION. It is best done on the harbour front at Paphos with copious amounts of Gordons and Keos. It is also useful to know the names of the members of the National Bulgarian Weight Lifting Team to score a few dubious points.

Well, where is this leading to, you may ask? You see I think I have spotted the BEST Looky Likey and I claim my 10 points; Saddam Hussein's address to the Iraqi people yesterday morning was surely not him. In fact it has been reported that the real Saddam was last seen in the Pelican having lunch with Michelle!

Madder than Saddam
I'm not sure whether this will be read tonight. I have been experiencing problems with Blogger, I'm trying to make my page look prettier. The codes are in the template but it keeps throwing up half beautiful and very Girlie, Lavender and Blue with the old, drab poopy colours. Well it offends me so it must be awful for you.
It has been a very noisy day with a lot of air activity. We are going to have an early night in the hopes of getting some sleep before it starts again.

Finally, I would like to dispel all rumours that my karaoke singing has been listed as another Weapon of Mass Destruction.

I'm trying to change the colours....trust me it will not stay like this. (I hope......)

"Oh, What a Night"
Glued to CNN through the night and a bit noisy overhead but no problems to report.

To all family and friends; we are heads down this weekend and staying indoors. The Compound is heavily guarded and we are well and safe. Keep reading the page.

"Don't Fence Me In!"
I have followed the progress of Steph's fence over the last few weeks and just had to say: "Now, I Know Fences!" We have the mother of all fences around our villa on Olaya Compound. Just get a load of this:



It is so high that all we can see is the M for McDonalds from the top of the villa. Now Stephanie, that is some fence wouldn't you say.

The Blunt Nosed Viper
Now this is a killer. Found in one of our lavender bushes in Cyprus last summer by the gardener. Caught and taken to Snake George; relax Jill that's one less!

I Just Can't be Serious for too Long!
'Wonderful son Edward' wrote a most eloquent piece not long ago, about spiders; well one little, tiny, itsy bitsy, miniscule, inoffensive, cute beasty to be precise! In fact 'the darling of all spiders'. NOW, I know spiders! We have two little critters here that you would not want to come across in your bath. One species of spider, which the children can spot a metre away, is the Red Back (you may know it better as the Black Widow). The other is the one that puts the fear of God in the Rufftiest of Toughty men; YES, the CAMEL SPIDER! The Hannibal Lector of the solifugids. A spider/scorpion with crushing jaws and the ability to paralyse it's prey before eating it,(a little at a time) whilst it is still alive.
Phil had an encounter with one of these beasties late one night, when we were saying good night to 'chums' after a jolly blast!
"EEEEEEEKKKKKKKK Phil, there's a Camel Spider!"
"Stand back, I'm trained in squishing spiders!"
After a dreadful scuffle the spider had Phil cornered, his only weapon of defence being the broom. (Phil that is, not the spider!) My hero swung the broom, the spider scuttled up the wall towards the open window of our bedroom, the broom broke in two and the spider gave a cheery wave before disappearing into our room.
Yes, you are quite right in your assumption, Philip and I BOTH spent the night in the 'Huffy Bed" (You have to be married to know what this is.)
SO YOU SEE I KNOW SPIDERS!

Time is now ticking away:

We have nothing to amuse you with today. Our thoughts are with the men and women of the armed forces, their families and friends, people caught up in the conflict and the ordinary people of Iraq. Whatever you may call your God, may he be with us all in the next few days.

Pacht (1984)
I quote: "......overly emotional and 'catastrophic' reactions to minor failures, and low productivity due to procrastination or excessive 'start overs' "

That's me today, the all-or-nothing perfectionist. Although my skills at Blogging are still developing and my page colours irritate me and therefore, must cause you a little angst, I feel my emotions are being stretched to the limit by factors beyond my control. You see I'm a Shout-Out junky. I love the comments that people write, I openly welcome, yes embrace the little witticisms that come winging my way. I solicit, I cajole, I play upon emotions just to get some response. AND then what happens....they DROP OFF! Where the HELL are they? You see it doesn't compute in my brain. Please spare me the technical details. Phil always explains how aeroplanes fly, as I am giving him the death grip on take-off, but it doesn't help me. So please, if you come across my Shout-Outs whilst surfing around, send them back, my page isn't perfect without them.

The only thing that made me smile today was on the way home. The roads immediately outside the Emir's Palace are kept scrupulously clean by 'third world national chappies' who do a brilliant job with a cardboard box and a palm leaf! (Can you imagine this happening in the UK outside Buck Palace?) Well today one of them had a broom and a wooden box! Phil and I decided he must be the Gaffer!

After all that...they've dropped off!!

Whoops, forgot to say......

I know you won't believe me but this is about 10 minutes from Tabuk. Pretty spectacular, don't you think? Why am I posing that question, nobodies interested...even Jill hasn't read the page today!
No, don't try to make me feel better...I'm in a right STROP.
So Edward and Stephanie what are you two up to that you can't read my page?
AND Phillips, you know where you can shove your Bloggits.......!!!!!!!!

What's the Point?
I'm feeling unloved and neglected! No one has read my page or left a SHOUT OUT! Come on I'm trying my best....it's supposed to be interactive! The Little Yellow Something page gets 70 shouts each time he writes. Even Phil didn't read ME today. So I'm in a huff and all you're getting is a picture.

Her Name's Elizabeth and she has ALWAYS SHOUTED OUT the LOUDEST!
How many cushions do you need?

"You were only meant to blow the BL......Y doors off!"

Isn't it ironic that some of the most intellectual conversations take place with ones 'chums' when one has had too many fig juices? The cut and thrust of the debate went as follows:
"So that film, To Catch a Thief."
"You mean the Hitchcock one with Cary Grant and Debbie Reynolds."
"Debbie Reynolds? No get out of here. It's ....mmmmm...you know, Jean Kelly."
"Jean Kelly? He's a bloke! Guffaw,guffaw!"
"You're ALL wrong, wasn't it Matthew Kelly!!!GUFFAW, GUFFAW, GUFFAW"
Believe me at the time it seemed hilarious, I think you had to be there. Anyway we all know that it's Grace Kelly but it is the title that has sent my brain cells zinging around today. You see I think a good title would have been "You have to be a Thief to Catch a Thief" and why, I hear you ask, and so I will explain.

Last summer Phil and I went to Yangos and Peters, in Latche for lunch. We had a lovely time and arrived back to our Cyprus home, full of food and local wine. After much fumbling I managed to locate the key, and the corresponding hole to put it in, only to find it wouldn't work! Oh, blimey the dead lock had died and we couldn't get in. Who to ring, who to help.....straight to the rescue, Richard and Mardie our neighbours. Mardie arrived with the number of a locksmith, Richard arrived with a sledge hammer!
"Don't panic," said Mardie, "this guy is the best." (I think she meant the locksmith and not Richard.)

Within 20 minutes, Costas had arrived. "It will be 40 pounds if I can get in and only 20 if I can't." Well we were thinking Richard The Sledge Hammer would do it for a fiver, no messing. However, to our amazement, this young adonis was into our villa before you could say SWAG! AND there was no damage, nothing broken and he let us in through another door.
When we rang Mardie, to give a progress report, she said she was not surprised as the young gentleman in question was from a family with a chequered past and had learnt everything he knew from his father. All that I can say is thank goodness he is a reformed character but gosh, doesn't it make you think?

Phew, a Day for Relaxation!
All my candles have been burnt at both ends this weekend!

So who do you think this is?
In the interests of my page and of course vast readership, I have been snapping away at any male crossing my path, hopefully capturing that illusive quality that makes that person have the attributes necessary for 'pin-up' status.
"Come on Sweety, give me attitude, pout, ruffle the hair....."
So here we have it....my very own Pin-up!

Tabuk Male Pin-Up of the Week.
Just to wet the appetite girls; here is one of the contenders for pin-up status:



Just joking: announcement to be made next.



I have been inundated with requests for a look-see of Mr Nick Richardson, pilot, author, karaoke singer and......(wait for it...) Tabuk Male Pin-Up of the Week. It is quite possible that if you are travelling Virgin in the near future you will hear: "Goodmorning ladies and gentlemen this is your Captain speaking. I would suggest you buckle up and relax as I'm the pilot who has had one more take off than landing. To put you at your ease I would like to begin by singing New York, New York!"

Does Anyone remember Bet Lynch?
I have a very good friend called Jenny who taught at the Academy in Dahran, as indeed I did. She is a brilliant artist, but apart from that she has a joy for life which is truly inspiring. Jenny never pays any attention to conventions and has a flair and style quite unique to herself. Now I like to think I too have a little something which shouts ME! You see I ADORE animal prints. I call it my "Jungle" look and I have to say to all you young things out there, this style should be exclusive to us "fifty somethings" I'm talking more Joanna Lumley than Pat Butcher, more Patsy than Edina. From knickers to shoes, I've got the lot. Anyone else LURV Jungle?

Journal Entries for All Girlies out there!

You may remember an earlier entry on my Blog page that told about a 'jolly to Jordan'. A few years ago I discovered the crafts made by the Noor Al-Hussein Foundation. The foundation was established to help Jordanian women to be a part of a small business development project.I have purchased many lovely items and this is my latest purchase. Each item is hand made and depicts the diversity of Jordanian life and culture.

I thought this cushion was very Versace!

Whoops, forgot to mention this week's Tabuk Male Pin-up! This will keep all of you men guessing.

Firstly I must thank everyone for their birthday greetings; absolutely fantastic. Secondly, thank you Elizabeth, you found the SHOUT button ( there will be no stopping her now!)

I have only one thing to share with you today and that is the comment made by Norman Schwarzkopf about recent events in the Middle East and the position that the French are adopting:

" Hell, it would be like going on a deer hunt and taking an accordian!"

AND for ALL you girlies, please visit my Blog page tomorrow...I've got Prada, Gucci, Fendi, Versace and anything that we hip chicks can throw together to make an interesting Blog entry. There will be comments from Trinny, Donatella and Peggy from the Queen Vic! An in-depth interview with Nora Battye on the state of lycra and opaque tights. Yes, it will all be here tomorrow so please join me.

IT'S M'BIRTHDAY!
What a day I've had and now I'm sitting here blubbering.
The morning began early, as usual, with my present from Phil and my cards from Edward and Stephanie. Then on to school and presents from colleagues and loads of cards and chocolates from the children. Phil brought in doughnuts at 10 o'clock and a few of the parents came in to see me before they go back to the UK tomorrow.
Back at Olaya and the phone rings, Gerry and Joan wishing me a Happy Birthday. Then the mobile rings and it's Ed from the UK to wish me a Happy Birthday and tell me about another present and greeting he has for me on his Blog page.(Yes, thanks to "wonderful son Ed' I am now a proper DOT CO!) The doorbell rings and friends have decorated the front of the villa with flags and more presents and cards. Then to top it all I had Email greetings from Colin, my Brother-in-law in London and ......wait for it......my brother Robert! As he is in Detroit, I have therefore, had greetings from around the globe. We are having Chinese food tonight and then tomorrow a few people are coming for drinks and Thai food.
I have had many cards, greetings and presents today from family and friends. However, I received a card this morning from someone whom I have not yet met. This is a special message to Steph; thank you for thinking of me today and please continue to keep me up to date with news of you and Edward on your Blog page. It helps to bring Edward a little closer and for this I am truly indebted to you. I think I'd best go now.....I'm blubbering again!

Received mail today. Thrilled to bits as I think that one is from 'wonderful son Ed' and the other I'm not so sure of yet (my birthday is tomorrow)
The third envelope contained a party invitation, or Murder/Mystery Dinner, to be precise. I am taking the part of Rennee Scrubber, a chambermaid. Phil is Christopher Boss I'boote, the manager. I want to know why I couldn't be Nikki Melons, the well endowed ex model? I will report on the events of the evening at a later date.

Tabuk made Sky News today so maybe I will be allowed to loosen up on the events happening here at the moment. Things have been going on here for the past 2 weeks (not as the news reported in the last 2 days!) and certainly the situation is hotting up. Edward will keep any Emails that I send him so that they can go onto the Blog page when it is safer.

Anyway I'm looking forward to tomorrow........."Happy Birthday to ME, Happy Birthday to ME............."

Well it's 6.30am and I'm at my desk at school waiting for the brain to kick into gear. I am SO pleased that all of the links and SHOUT OUT are back on. This message then is specifically for Elizabeth ( have to give her the full title now that she is advancing in years! Splutter!), come on GIRL give us a SHOUT! Anyone else out there that would like to comment on the issues that I raise, please feel free.

There have been problems over the last few days with Blogger and it has taken several frustrating hours to get my Posts published. I do hope that it will soon be sorted out.

Although they say that a picture can convey a thousand words I feel that it's time to get back to the written word.

I want to share my thoughts on Internet shopping with you. Now one would think that living here would mean that I would embrace the whole process of 'shopping on -line' . However, this has not been the case. You see I remember the old days of mail order shopping where the clothes never fit, the colour was not quite the same as the photograph, or your first choice was not available and so a substitute was sent in the hopes that you would keep it. Most of the time I just couldn't be a.....d to go through the whole business of repacking, filling in 3 duplicate return slips saying why I was returning the item, having to go to the Post Office... etc...etc....So I was a late and reluctant participant in an experience that was supposed to revolutionise my life and free me from the tedium of going out to shop.
I began in a small way, flowers for the Mothers. I am duty bound to report that this was a resounding success. They arrived on time and were greatly appreciated by both recipients. So after dipping one toe in the water I next attempted to order Christmas Crackers! Again they arrived well in advance of Christmas and they looked beautiful, all red and gold foil with pretty ribbons. Oh, how we laughed at the first joke in the cracker: What does Santa and his reindeer travel in? Answer: A Hollycopter. Then we fell about hollerin' as the second joke was read out: What does Santa and his reindeer travel in? Answer: A Hollycopter. I think you are ahead of me; yes all 10 crackers had the same joke! Well I gathered up the offending pieces of paper intending to write a strong letter of complaint. I found them last week crumpled up in the bottom of a handbag, one year on because I couldn't be a.....d to send them back.
Which brings me to my latest cyber shopping experience. Please read on below:

You may have noticed that I am reading several books at the same time. I have always loved books, not just for reading but also for the way they look, the smell of a new book and the feel of it in my hands.I have books sitting on the coffee table, on my desk and even the recipe type in the kitchen (the only ones gathering dust) So, as you can imagine, living in Saudi Arabia has put severe, and sometimes unbearable, restraints upon my 'passion' for books. Answer to my dilemma...'on-line shopping'! So at the beginning of January I ordered 'what not to wear' and 'The Royal Horticultural Society encyclopedia of Gardening'.
You should have seen my little face when 2 weeks later a parcel arrived for me! Inside my beautiful new copy of 'what not to wear' ..AND..."SS - Das Reich'! ...WHAT, was going on? Lengthy email correspondence ensued with the result that early February saw another parcel arrive. At last my lovely new book......'Newgrange and the Bend in the River Boyne'! Why couldn't they be books that I would have a modicum of interest in?
Last week, 2 months later my book arrived. No comment unless you are the person who ordered "Newgrange and the Bend in the River Boyne", sorry but I just can't be a...d to send it back!

Phil is watching Patriot Games so I thought I would see if I have any luck downloading some more pictures from yesterday. The event was a Thai B-B-Que organised by Neil and it was a superb afternoon. The food and company were excellent, topics of conversation ranging from handbags (interesting perspective from Kevin) to the top ten ways to a man's heart. Gerry and I could only think of two and from the look of Derek he's just had both!



Now you will be aware, if you read my journal, that I am a fan of The Big Strong Boys. What Jake and Gavin can do with a piece of MDF and a power tool is something to make the girls tremble at the knee. However, as of yesterday, my latest pin-up hunks have to be Steve and Max.



By the way, guess who won a raffle prize, little ol' me!

Gosh this is so frustrating; photograph on, links and 'Shout Out' - dropped off! Still they look like mighty fine pancakes, American style.

Yesterday passed in a blur but I have some interesting photographs to act as aide memoirs. Firstly you may have read my 'wonderful son Edward's' Pancakes for Beginners entry on his Blog page. Now you may be curious to know where this multi talented person gets all of his culinary skills from? Seek no further the proof is below:



Should you require my recipe just give us a SHOUT!

Back to the drawing board with the links! Watch this space.
To give you something to look at in the mean-time:



Don't you just wish you were there ...I do. (Cyprus Villa )

I was at the 'pooter' last night about to write up the days events when there was a boomph (not quite a bang) and all the lights went out. Well being kind of jittery at the moment I thought it was time to 'duck and cover' but as I couldn't see a dammed thing I wasn't sure what to duck under. Now I would say that Phil knows me pretty well after being together for six years but his question, as we groped for each other in the dark, amazed me. "Have we got any candles?" Is there a woman on the planet who doesn't line her nest with candles. Scented, be-jewelled, pillar, twisted, column, tea, round, square, triangular, tall, short, burgundy (to match the small lounge), blue (for the dining room table), white for the gallery lounge, pink for the master bedroom, yellow for the bathroom.........Well by the time I'd lit them ALL, the brightness was far greater than the electric lights! So you see that's why my journal entry was missing last night.

A special thank you to 'wonderful son Edward' this morning. He has set up a comment facility at the bottom of each entry so I have become 'interactive'! If you have a comment please don't be shy, "SHOUT OUT" (Go on Elizabeth.........over to you)

This one's for you Ed. Remember what it's like (and Holy Col) For the rest of you Hitters, our Villa in Cyprus.

When teaching the children about effective story writing I use East Enders as an example ie. stories within stories, cliff-hangers, flashbacks etc. I have to confess that we are partial to this particular soap as we are at saturation point with Drew, Frazier, Monica and co. (although has any one seen the episode of Friends where Joey wears the ladies red satin pants.......?) I digress. What I'm coming to is this; Alfie Moon. His throw away lines are terrific. I particularly remember the one addressed to Cat, "Come on Cat, you're loud mouthed, a tart and very weird." ........."Oh, alright you're just WEIRD!" Now maybe I could be considered the latter as I watch television programmes and the things that stick in my mind are the most bizarre and most 'weird'. For example I watched the Big Strong Boys and remained intrigued because the home owner was called Totty! What parent in their right mind would do this to their child? Naming children is never easy, ask 'the wonderful son Ed'. I was very close to someone who changed their name when they began working here. She used to be called Eileen, which she hated, and changed it to Maria. Looking around at all your friends and family can you honestly see them being called something else. What would I myself change my name to? Answers in a plain brown, sealed envelope......

For several weeks now I've been suffering with a very sore eye and as a result have had to cope with just one contact lense. It's amazing really how you start to compensate for this and indeed feel your yin and yang reaching perfect fuzzy harmony. Now my problem is that the eyes are supposed to be the window of your soul and I was wondering, as I can't see out, does this mean that you can only see half my soul? And then a further train of thought has taken me into the consideration of the afore mentioned soul. Now I could Ask Geeves or Google what it's all about but no, I am of the generation where you seek in higher places, yes 'Larry King Live'! Yesterday's guest was someone called John Edwards who is the host of a programme called Crossing Over. No, not an expert on transvestites but someone who talks to the dead. Well it wasn't long before they got round to the soul and how people 'come across' and I feel I just have to share this with you. You see he hears voices in his head. Excuse me but have I lost the plot or have I missed my calling, because I know how to do this?
Many years ago we used to go to church as a family and half way through 'wonderful son Ed' and I used to get a little restless so I distinctly remember saying in my head, " Oh, God how much longer?" Well you will be shocked to know that I received a reply so can only assume that it was Himself. I've done this many times since and it's easy. First you must be seriously bored, I feel you are almost there already, then ask just one question in your head. Now here is the most important part, you have to believe that the first thing that pops into your head is a message from the other side. In the interests of psychic research I am about to test my theories with the following question: Just one moment while the test commences *********
"Is there anybody there?" ............................