Last night I watched a film called 'Real Women, Have Curves!' Hallelujah, thank goodness I'm real. The storyline was predictable and amusing in places but this isn't what I will remember it for.
At the very beginning of the film there is this very old lady singing extremely badly in Italian. What is it about getting old that seems to give you the God given right to burst into song at any moment? My Mother used to inflict this form of torture, guaranteeing maximum embarrassment to the hapless soul who was accompanying her at the time. In Wales it would be, "We keep a welcome in the hillside", in Scotland, "Over the sea to Skye" and anywhere north of the Watford gap, "When the boat comes in." All sung I might add, at full throttle and in the dialect of the said area. It always made me cringe and I would implore her to stop. And did she, no of course not?
I have come to the conclusion that getting older means that you can be totally outrageous and not give a tinkers cuss what other people think of you. Therefore, this is by way of warning to everyone that knows me, I may be nearer those type of 'senior moments' than you think.
You see it seemed like a good idea at the time, we were at yet another barbecue when I had one of those 'moments'. My attention was drawn to one of those scooters that all of the children seem to have. I just couldn't help it, I launched myself at it with the intention of going round the patio area just once. Well with the hoots of my friends ringing in my ears, I successfully did my lap and felt compelled to go yet again. Everyone cheered as I went round the third time and then it happened. I had negotiated the palm tree easily by giving it a wide berth on the previous laps but I was an expert by this time so I thought I would attempt to limbo dance under the lowest palm frond, still on the scooter of course. You know what came next, I wrapped myself round the trunk of the tree, the scooter went flying, along with my dignity.
Did I mind? Did I give a damn?......

Come off it,
of course I did, I'm not that old!

Look what I have bought today. New to me but previously owned by one careful woman biker. I tried to buy one last month but although Phil was able to buy his, they could not get me a ladies bicycle because it is frowned upon by Saudi authorities. I can't ride it outside the compound but I don't care; I have wheels.....YES! I feel a lycra moment coming on.
And for the two people interested in my injuries (humph) I'm hobbling a little better and actually emerged from my sick bed to take delivery of my bike. I should be fit enough to ride my beautiful blue Huffy soon; it goes into the garage tomorrow to be serviced!

I read this today and it made me laugh. An abridged version follows:
Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun to specifically launch dead chickens at the windshields of military jets. The idea being to simulate the frequent incidents of birds colliding with aeroplanes.
When American engineers heard of this they asked to borrow the gun to test the windshields of new high speed trains. When the gun was fired the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into and through the shield and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin!
Horrified they sent a report to Rolls Royce to ask what went wrong and whether they had any suggestions to improve the windshields.
The reply from Rolls Royce was a one line email:
"Defrost the chicken!"

You see I was walking along chatting to Phil when suddenly I went base over apex and landed at his feet in a crumpled mass of limbs and dirt. The result is a strapped ankle, (very painful), a knee the size of a small football (quite painful) and a bruised elbow (moderately painful when I lean on it)! So I have spent the day in bed feeling sorry for myself. I did make use of the time and gave myself a facial and manicure, rested gracefully on plumped up pillows, courtesy of husband, and demanded copious amounts of coffee and attention.
Forgive me if I bring this to an abrupt end but I must hobble back to bed and continue to feel sorry for myself.

What sort of day have you had?
My day began, as usual, with my stroll to work. The butterfly remained illusive this morning and so there were no diversions to speak of. Well actually, on reflection, I lie because I did encounter something this morning that puzzled me. As I explained yesterday, my solitude in the mornings is precious in that it helps me get my thoughts together. So as I rounded the corner I almost literally bumped into a fellow early morning walker. Obviously, as he was dressed in a rather fetching green all-in-one number, he too was off to work. Now in my book a 'good morning' would have sufficed but that wasn't to be. After the salutations I passed by, only to hear, "you look like a school teacher!" What the bleep does a teacher look like? Stupid question, look no further, they look like me. What I wanted to say was, "you boy, you look like a pilot, bend over and take forty of the best!" but I smiled sweetly and walked on.
Any of you out there that look like your job? It's a fascinating idea don't you think?

The temperature has been steadily rising each day and now the AC is our best friend. You certainly couldn't live here comfortably without some means of getting cool.

One of the nicest times of day for me, is at 6.45am when I 'm taking a short walk to school. The streets are empty and so I have time to look around me at anything that captures my interest. At some stage I usually scan the skies looking for Green Parakeets or Bee-eaters and then on the ground in the hopes of catching sight of a camel spider or scorpion. For the last three mornings I have been delighted by the vision of a large butterfly, yellow and black in colour. I thought at one stage it might be a Monarch but I'm not so sure any more as I am led to believe that they prefer Dogwood plants and there certainly aren't any of those around here; unlike Dahran where this species of shrub is prevalent and so are the Monarchs.

This morning I took my camera in high hopes of capturing it's beauty. Unfortunately butterflies are not like flowers they flutter around, so below is what I'm sure it would have looked like, had it posed for me.



You never know, tomorrow might be my day and I get that illusive photograph.

Before you ring Social Services, I am old enough to be left on my own. Phil has a meeting in Riyadh for a few days so you can imagine I am a little concerned for his safety. He rang an hour ago, well actually several times. Once from the airport here, then when he arrived at Riyadh airport, then as he was walking to pick the car up, then when he was in the car and finally when he was safely settled in his hotel room. Phew, breath easy again.

To while away the evening I thought I would read a magazine and devote some quality time to my page. Think again.......the Blogger Gremlins are out in force, yet more problems. I'm bleepity bleep bleep fed up with it. Another switch failure no doubt. Is it any wonder then that I have a severe case of sense of humour failure. I am sincerely sorry if you too are having problems getting onto my page and can only hope that normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

So excuse me, I'm off to watch television and yet another herd of gazelles trying to cross that bleeping river that's infested with those bleeping big ugly crocs! I'm really not in a good mood!

It's an hour before dinner and I'm starving! When I'm working I tend to have rice cakes and fruit for lunch, easy to prepare and they really fill you up! I'm not really on any diet plan or anything, although I was tempted by the Atkins diet. You know the one where you can have your Big Mac, Club Sandwich, BLT as long as it's without the bread. However, I read somewhere that it gave you bad breath AND constipation! What a thought!
I do try to eat a healthy diet, you know plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, fish and the obligatory chicken (grilled of course!) The choice in the supermarket here is very limited although you can buy camel and ostrich should that be to your taste.
For several weeks this year there were no chicken drumsticks on the shelves, plenty of thighs but no drumsticks. I know it doesn't make any sense to me either. Someone suggested going down Chicken Street as the chicken was very fresh and you could take your pick from any number of shops. So off we went for a bumper pack of chicken drumsticks to last us for a while. Unfortunately they came in two's, were covered in feathers and were still running round the wire cage! Fresh they might be but choosing an unfortunate 'chuck' and then having to watch as it has it's neck wrung in front of me was something I couldn't stomach. They all seemed to have these imploring eye's that begged not to be chosen ( "choose him he's fatter than me.") Needless to say our diet didn't consist of chicken for quite some time. I was almost driven to start the Chicken Liberation Group of Tabuk!
Anyway, dinner's ready so I must go. And what are we having? Nothing quirky, just vegetable lasagne..........without the pasta of course.

I was checking through the reports this afternoon when there was a power failure! So armed with camera I went outside to take a photograph of the lilies growing on the pond in front of the villa.





As Colin seems to be the only person visiting my page at the moment, what do you think?

A poem entitled, Jonas Hanway - Umbrella Inventor
Rain, rain, rain
Spring is full of it!
Thank goodness for umbrellas -
And Jonas Hanway

"Where would I be without my Hanway?" Mary Poppins.

There, I think I've proved my point!

A lazy day today and the most we have done is go to the pool for sun and a swim. Whilst floating around we indulged ourselves in the "What If" game. I'm sure you've done this too! "What if we win a million pounds on the lottery this Saturday?" Then you spend a pleasant ten minutes saying what you would do. It's harmless fun and always ends with us telling the company what to do with the job! We buy property in America, we stop off in Dubai for shopping, we work out how much we are going to give the children, believe me there isn't much left by the time we've finished.
Monetary surprises normally happen in reverse; the astronomical telephone bill or the bill for repairing the car. So is it any wonder that programmes where fortune shines on people like us are so appealing. Have you seen the programme Flog IT? I love to see the Wedgwood plate bought for a pound in a car-boot sale go under the hammer for one hundred and fifty pounds. The painting found in the skip that is a lost masterpiece worth thousands. The bowl that was used to prop the door open and found to be Japanese Imari and worth a cool thousand. I'm amazed at the pieces handed down in families from generation to generation and yet people are prepared to "Flog It" for paltry sums.
My mother died before Christmas and her legacy to me can never be measured in terms of money or objects. My family were financially poor but rich in all of the values which I consider priceless. She did give me Grandmothers teapot which she was convinced was worth a "bob or two"! It's a little distressed and an honest piece but quite pretty in a rustic sort of way.



Would I sell it? Not even for a million pounds!

Very high alert this weekend so.....we have partied!
The answer to the umbrella question is......... Jonas Hanway. Sorry Ed but on this occasion you are wrong. Jonas was your main man.
Back to normality tomorrow!

I've gone through it all before with you; the odd customs and laws of this country! Well today I think I've heard the best ever.
My friend and teaching assistant Debbie is going back to the UK in July and she has three adorable cats. Being a responsible pet owner, she has arranged to have the cats flown back to the UK where they will be quarantined for six months. Her husband and nine year old son, are taking them to Riyadh next week on the first leg of their journey. When I asked Debbie why she wasn't going she told me that she was not allowed. Apparently, when coming up to Tabuk from Dahran three years ago, each cat was in a separate cat carrier for their comfort and so that there wouldn't be any catfights. Debbie carried one and Julian (her husband) carried the other two. When going through customs the guards went spare and told Debbie, "Woman not carry animal!" So two cats were crammed into one basket and Julian negotiated the other basket as well. Debbie was allowed to carry an empty pet basket! This amazes me as I have seen an Arab man carrying a full- grown falcon on his arm and sitting in economy on an internal Saudi flight!

The small garden we have here has some wonderful plants in it. There are olive, lime and fig trees and an abundance of hibiscus bushes. Thought this might cheer you up if its still raining where you are!

Forgive me if I seem to be a little distracted and not giving enough thought to my Blog entries this week but I have quite a lot on at work at the moment. There are many things to accomplish these next few weeks. Reports have to be written, several displays have to be completed and all of this as well as the normal day-to-day teaching of the children. This isn't as hectic as other times during the year and it is certainly toned down as over half of the children are back in the UK on voluntary repatriation.

After twenty seven years, display inspiration becomes more than a little jaded. To sustain my own interest I try to be as original as I can. Thoughts today have turned to how we are going to construct a full size grandfather clock out of boxes! Over the years, many weird and wonderful projects have been completed and I have to say it is one area of the job I thoroughly enjoy. It is not surprising then that I absolutely love the programme on Discovery Channel called Scrapheap Challenge! For those of you who haven't seen it, two teams are given a challenge to design and construct a machine purely out of the scrap that they can find; a sort of Blue Peter for adults with a token scientist thrown in to make sure it has a small chance of working. The challenge today was to build a rocket which would carry an ostrich egg as high as possible and then to safely bring the egg back to ground without a crack. The launch was hilarious with comments like, "Huston we have a problem, Art Attack are about to make an omelette!" Has anyone else seen this and enjoyed it as much as I have?

Discovery Channel is good for picking up bits of trivia as well. Without looking it up on the Internet, do you know who invented the umbrella?

After careful consideration the panel of judges, all one of him, has decided that Miss Stephanie has come up 'trumps' with her very witty caption. So well done Steph, I actually liked the one about the waterproof hairpiece!
When you are incarcerated on a compound you start to get a little stir crazy after a few weeks. Do I hear, 'but you can go to the pool or the gym. Or you could go to the pool or the gym...' See what I mean.This is why not being able to go to the Red Sea, is so frustrating. All beach passes have been cancelled because of security. To go to the beach we Brits need a pass and believe me within minutes of parking on a vast expanse of pure white sand with no one around for miles, we are suddenly confronted by the coast guard who wants to see that we have permission. Sad when you think about it. Just to cheer me up I am going to put a photograph of the little collection of shells that I harvested the last time we were there in December.



We love to beach-comb and on one occasion Phil had, what he thought, must be the luckiest find ever made in Saudi Arabia, a can of real beer! He was over the moon and proceeded to look for the others, he was convinced that there had to be a crate of it somewhere.
He carried his trophy home, washed it and then put it on the shelf so that he could admire it and savour the moment. After he could wait no longer he grabbed the ring-pull and slowly pulled.....I can best describe the sound of the can being opened as FFFUUUUFFFF!! The beer was flat! So you can see why he is so anxious to go back, he's convinced he'll get lucky!

If you visited my page in the early days you will remember, fondly I'm sure, the Tabuk Male Pin-Up of the Week. One of the hunks was Nick Richardson, a very close friend and rival karaoke singer. This week Nick sent a copy of his book to us and I can't wait to read it.
In 1994 Nick was shot down over the Bosnian Muslim town of Gorazde. He was lost behind enemy lines and only able to escape when he teamed up with the SAS. I spoke to Nick just before his return to the UK and he was in negotiations with Channel 4 for a full length documentary. All of this and he is one of the nicest guys I've ever met.

Well the Caption Competition is off to a good start and Phil has said that he would like to judge the entries; such a good sport.

Steph mentioned taking her car into the garage and the fact that she didn't know whether they were ripping her off because she was a young lady. Well I thought that we girls should consider why men are the 'happier species'!
Car mechanics tell them the truth.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at their chest when talking to them.
They never have strap problems in public.
They don't have to shave below the neck.
The world is their urinal.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
They have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.

I'm sure you could come up with even more...........

The Caption Competition. You know you like entering.....



This is one you HAVE to enter.

Have you heard the story of the Roman General Scipio? It was brought to mind today whilst talking to a colleague.
For those of you who don't know here is a very shortened version: Scipio has a dream and in the dream he discovers a tribe living in a village right next to this thunderous waterfall. The noise from the waterfall was so loud that the only way to communicate was to shout. Scipio asks of the tribal leader, "How do you live with that noise all day?" The reply was, "what noise?"
We all live with our own background noise which we fail to hear after a while. It's only when we move away that we begin to hear again and wonder how we could have lived with the racket. Now you can liken this to all sorts of life experiences and although I haven't had Niagara Falls next to me, I have recently confronted an issue, walked away and realised only then, that it was the cause of so much stress and anxiety in my life. The situation is not easy but the calm I now feel is liberating.
So, nice one Scipio!

By the way I've got a brilliant caption competition if anyone is interested. Shall we go for it tomorrow?

No gym tonight but we went to the pool after work; the temperature has been in the 100's today, phew! Slapped a bit of suncream on the bits and did some splashing in the water and a few widths. Phil of course did a few sleek lengths with racing turns and then posed for a photograph before going into his synchronised swim routine. This commences with goose stepping round the edge of the pool before a balletic entry. One missing contact lense later and a spluttering husband emerges to his usual refrain, "I'm not doing that for you again! Have you got my inhaler?"
And here he is minus the rest of the Bulgarian Synchro Swim team:



This is the entrance to the pool and I think this is a beautiful tree.

The compound that we live on now certainly lives up to it's name; the gardens and landscaped areas are beautiful. I couldn't resist taking this photograph as I came back from the gym tonight. Yes you heard right, I've been again!
The branches of this tree are laden with peaches and they taste delicious!

I made it to the gym tonight and what is even more significant, I made it back! There is a state of the art gym on this compound with a trainer if you should need him (control yourself Miss L). The place drips with testosterone and posing hunks, stretching their bulging bits.
Now I have to confess I do try, but can't actually say that I throw myself into it a full 100 per cent. Well I stumble at the first hurdle, programming the machine to give little ol' me a workout designed specifically for my age and body weight (please suppress those cruel comments of...a Zimmer frame darlin?) You see it's the choice. Do I want Nordic Trail or Alpine Run, the Scandinavian Slog or the Jutland Jog? I tell you what I bleepity bleep want; a Fenland Flat Saunter so that I don't get too hot or sweaty.
I then move on to a contraption which will give me leg definition and tone the inside of my thighs. Well girls I don't need to tell you that straight away I'm thinking obstetrics and when I catch sight of myself in the mirrors, that's it, the giggles start and it's all downhill from this point onwards.
The best part is when I've finished and fall into the Nordic sauna, recline and transport myself in mind, if not body, to that forest trail with the smell of pine resin and spring flowers. MMMMMM now that's more like it!



You could be forgiven for thinking my trainers are new; it shows you just how much I use them!

I remember attending a headteachers’ conference on the introduction of the National Curriculum in schools, throughout England and Wales, many years ago. I was a deputy head at the time and standing in for the head. A previous course, that I had been on, had made quite an issue of the fact that good and effective headteachers did not jump on bandwagons! Perhaps the head who returned all of the National Curriculum documents and made it quite clear that he did not wish to be bothered with inspection copies ever again, had heeded that advice.
It will be no surprise then that I have witnessed many changes in education over the years. Is it any wonder then that this week of SAT’s for Year 6 children, that I question the sanity of some of these changes that have been made? Throughout my career, I have attempted to jump through hoops of fire, keep the plates spinning and nail that jelly to the wall!
I believe that standards in education must be maintained and that schools should be accountable. It is the means to this end that I find questionable. A school is judged on their SAT’s results, they guide Ofsted and yet the standards are based on tests, which take approximately 0.13 per cent of the pupil’s school year! In Year 6, formative assessment has no part to play and yet at later stages course work plays a significant part in assessing the progress and attainment of older pupils.
We are now being urged to, “Target the creativity that has been lost from too many classrooms because of teaching to tests.” All that I can say is:
“Here we go again!”
I really would be interested to have your views.

How much do you think the human brain can bear in the way of remembering? I read somewhere that our long-term memory is basically this giant storehouse where all the people and places and funny moments and songs and poems we've ever known are laid down like wine, but if you don't visit it often enough the route to it is lost; like an over-grown path. Well my memory isn't as it used to be and so I have to adopt strategies to remember; don't the experts call it our aids to reach our full multitasking potential?(haven't a clue really, just made it up but it sounds good)
At work I have a 'To Do List' which I tick off as I go along but everywhere else in my life I attempt the 'store and retrieve method' to get through the days and I have to tell you it's not working too efficiently at the moment. The storing is easy it's the retrieval that I have difficulty with:
Must remember to ask Ed when that interview is and wish him luck
Definitely spray the bedroom tonight with PifPaf, 4 more mosquito bites this morning
Email Phil's Mum to thank her for the lovely gift
Remember to get bleach for the loos
Remember to recommend that book to Pewari when I can think of the title
Remember where I packed the candles
Wish Miss L a happy trip to Florida this week, some time or when I can remember when she's going
Try to remember why I have those numbers written on my hand
But most of all, try to remember what I said at the barbecue last night because I can't recollect any of it!

I know I should save it and then post and publish but I thought it would work, as Blogger has been running quite smoothly just recently. Foolish to say the least. Sorry I'm too tired to mess around with it tonight as all of my efforts went into the first entry which disappeared into cyber space, yet again! Good night!

Well the panel of international judges has been meeting all day and 5 minutes ago they came out with the gold envelope to announce the winners of the "Caption Competition"! Michelle came out first wearing an off the shoulder gold creation, donated by Zoe off the market stall, and made the official announcement:
"It was a very close call but the judges have decided that the first prize goes to..........................A. Non for a very witty entry that seemed to capture the spirit of the competition. In second place Mr Ed! He wins the following exceptionally lovely prize:



A delicious Sitting Ducks, Ronald McD's Happy Meal, it's in the post Ed.
And for all of you Runners Up, a large size McSalad Shaker to share; mmmmm aren't you lucky?



Thank you for entering and look out for the next 'Caption Competition' with more stunning prizes!

We have a video library on this compound and so Phil came home tonight with a DVD; 'Killing Me Softly' starring Mr Hunky Bod Fiennes and Heather Graham.
The reviews promised a movie 'fearless and intense' and the cover had a photograph of the two in a passionate clinch. MMMMMM... in for a treat, I thought and so we settled down to watch it.
Within ten minutes the movie was straight into 'the action', followed a few moments later with...'more action' and then (you're there before me)...'even more action'. Well as it was the same thing happening but with different props, it was getting more than a little tedious. Although I have to say when the parachute silk ties were introduced, thoughts turned to the demise of MP's in seedy flats and dodgy business.
However, I persevered and have to say the ending was predictable but not the weapon used. I actually sat for a while expecting a double twist to the ending but nothing happened.
With dialogue like, "I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn't looked up that day?" is it any wonder that I don't recommend that you rush out to see it. Well you can tell that it didn't hold Phil's attention because half way through he went to fit an extension on the hosepipe!
And for tomorrow night....'Gangs of New York'...
'He's the scariest guy you'll see all summer.'
I can't wait.
Now, have I told you that I've seen 'Sliding Doors' five times? Now that's a film worth talking about........no, please... come back surely not all of those hosepipes need extending!!!

Joining the ranks of the Blogging Fraternity has added a new and wonderful dimension to my life. Today I have discovered that Pewari has put a link on her page to mine. Yes, I know that the initial introduction came via Ed but I feel now that the fellowship stands on its own merits. I know all about Akra junior and have shared some of the moments special to Pewari and her family: the new bed, Easter fun, the recipes, the thoughts on religion and that 'bloomin' move! Yes, this is what I believe Blogging is all about. So thank you, I am delighted and will reciprocate not because I feel I have to, but because you have an excellent page.
Now, how about those photographs?

Well I bought the book for the above and also because it's 1,412 pages long! The book in question is The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon and promised an insight into the colony of North Carolina in 1771. Just up my street, a historical romp and nice and long to keep me going.
So a few days ago I finished yet another one of my Dubai Duty Free books, (I know I've indicated on the right that my reading material has been girly mag type stuff but actually I've read 8 books since then) and yes, it was a time to get into comfy mode and begin to read all about Jamie Fraser, a man of honour and by his side his extraordinary wife Claire, a woman out of time.
Well it all began very well and I was savouring every page turning moment. Plenty of wood smoke, tartan and:

'Sassenach,' Jamie said drowsily, 'you're squirming like a toadling in a wee lad's fist. D'ye need to get up and go to the privy?'

It wasn't long before I was up to page 26 and the scene had been set for the first wedding, funeral and confrontation with the Governor of the Colony. And then it happened, those one or two sentences that make you pause and reflect. The words that make you stop and question whether you have read everything or indeed, whether you have understood it. I checked the most important issue, the date. There it was again 'Late October, 1770' and yet on page 26:

'...thinking that while I could perhaps do without such amenities as indoor plumbing and motor cars, there were times when I sincerely missed things like rubber pants with elasticated legs. To say nothing of toilet rolls!'

OH HO, what have we got here? Now could this be a mistake on the part of Miz Gabaldon or is this the first indication that she certainly was a woman out of time? I was expecting history and not time travel. The thing that has really captured my attention is the reference to the toilet roll, off the top of your head do you know when it was invented? Why not hazard a guess and then we could see who is the nearest by checking on the Internet. Remember, cheats don't prosper!

Saddam Husseins ambitions were to seek immortality and to go down in history as one of the world's greatest leaders. He used the Iraqi people's money for this end. He tampered with ancient monuments by inscribing his name on them. Statues were erected to glorify him and photographs adorned the buildings so that the people would not forget who their leader was.
The people of Iraq have taken less than three weeks to pull down the statues and for falsified history, to disappear. Saddam was everywhere but never in the hearts of the Iraqi people.

Blogger seems to be having BIG problems today so hopefully this will work.
We are at last in our tiny apartment awaiting the allocation of a new villa. So maybe for the next 5 months we will be here. I have some of my favourite things around and therefore, it looks a little homey.



AND this is one thing I would never go anywhere without, my picture of "M'Boy"!

Many readers were enthralled with the views around Tabuk's traffic islands and so I am proud to announce.....
"Caption Competition Two with a round-about twist!"
Each photograph is of three different angles of the same island. All you have to do is provide the caption. So why not have a go; multiple entries are permitted.







The prize has been donated by Michelle Collins, a personally signed copy of the Sunburn Video Compilation.
"Tanks for entering!"